How Children Bless – Part 6

Trevor Cairney has written an excellent post here extending our thinking about how we might consider the children of others as neighbours. It prompted me to think a little more about the relationship between children, parents and the community (whether it be the whole community or the Christian community).

Assuming for the moment that we take children to be a gift, there seem to be three ‘in principal’ options.

1. We think of children as being only a gift to parents, and therefore only the responsibility of parents.

2. We think of children as being a gift to the community and so therefore equally the responsibility of us all.

3. We think of children being primarily a gift to parents, but also a gift to the community, and so therefore the primary responsibility of parents, but also the responsibility of the community.

The first option is possibly the instinctive default of many of us. It is echoed in such phrases as “you chose to have them, you look after them”.

The second option is held by cults or totalitarian states, where biological ties are ignored.

The third option, is of course the option we should go for, however it is worth acknowledging that agreeing “in principal” doesn’t automatically resolve how we should share the gift, responsibility and blessing it is to raise children. In other words, it may be the right option, but it is the most difficult option. Here are a few (pretty random) thoughts about how the task is shared.

  • Host a sleepover (it’s holidays, so should be easy to arrange)
  • Have Home Groups which are multi-generational (yes, it can be done)
  • Don’t let only parents be on the roster at creche at church
  • Coach a team
  • Wherever possible leave the changing of nappies to parents
  • Take responsibility for damage or danger your own children generate (yes your child was sinning, and yes you do have to take responsibility for it)
  • Stop any child running onto the road
  • Help children on and off trains and buses – and if you see a pregnant woman with three children on a bus, give up your seat (true story)
  • Participate in the correction and training of children, but leave corporal punishment to the parents
  • Know and pray for children that aren’t your own
  • Let other people look after your children (and look after other’s children)
  • Be willing to talk to each other about how we are raising our children
  • As you can see it’s a work in progress.

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